I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen |
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Franklin Pierce was the first U.S. President to have a Christmas tree in the White House |
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There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."
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Family Guy
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Pluto has zits, so do you this week- wear lots of makeup, it wont help, but it will amuse the numpties in your orbit. The Squirells are annoyed because you forgot their popcorn. Make it up to them or risk sleeping with the acorns!! People annoy you terribly, but that is the same as last week.....get used to it, because the trend dont look to end!
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