I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen |
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An office desk has 400 times more bacteria than a toilet. |
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't! The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
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haunted
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Your bid to get into the Guiness Book of World Records for the largest ball of yarn fails at the last second when you realize you live on a hill. Once more your dreams are foiled by that wonder we call gravity. As your latest project rolls down the street, you watch as it crushes cars, pulverizes mailboxes and terrifies old ladies on scooters, you rush after it wading your way through the multitude of cats trying to rip your humongous baby apart. As the dust settles you will be pleasantly surprised when you are thanked by someone you would swear had a waterbuffalo for a head.
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