The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. Dave Barry |
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The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. |
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There were these three women who escaped from prison. A blonde and two brunets. So to get away from the cops they hid in an abandoned farm house. In the farm house there were three burlap sacks sitting around. So they hid in them. When the cops came to the farm house the one of the cops saw the sacks, the officers yells, "There's just three burlap sacks in here!" To which his partner replies, "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding". The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunet in it and she yells, "MEEEYYOWW!" the officer said "Oh, its just a stupid cat in there." So he kicks the one with the other brunet in it and she yells, "RUUFFF RUFFF!", so the officer says, "Oh, it's just a stupid dog!" Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, "POTATOES!"
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Beware of seven toed porcupines. You'll find out his week that every conspiracy theory you have ever had, are true. Unfortunately this revelation will come to you in the middle of a UFO probing session and your memory will be erased. The memory eraser doesn't take completely and you will be left wondering if you were probed or if you just had a really awkward moment with your roommate.
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