I rant, therefore I am. Dennis Miller |
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Americans did not commonly use forks until after the Civil War. |
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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" "Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
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insane
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Your bid to get into the Guiness Book of World Records for the largest ball of yarn fails at the last second when you realize you live on a hill. Once more your dreams are foiled by that wonder we call gravity. As your latest project rolls down the street, you watch as it crushes cars, pulverizes mailboxes and terrifies old ladies on scooters, you rush after it wading your way through the multitude of cats trying to rip your humongous baby apart. As the dust settles you will be pleasantly surprised when you are thanked by someone you would swear had a waterbuffalo for a head.
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